What this world needs

There is a time in life where everyone asks themselves "whats my purpose? What am I worth? And am I even worth anything?" I cant tell you how many times I've looked in the mirror and asked myself these very same questions. The world tends to make us feel useless, worthless, unwanted, and ugly. It tells us that we aren't worth anything and will never be. Well, i disagree. We are all here for a purpose, for God's purpose. We just have to find it. The world gives us so many options, so many things to do instead. And then it tries to bring us down. Either way, it has to have its way. It fills our minds with so many lies. It tells us that we aren't pretty enough or aren't thin enough and then gives us the idea to either become someone we're not or starve ourselves  to try to get the perfect body. It tries to consume us, to become our every move, our every thought. And then when we decide to go with the worlds ideas and plans it had for us instead of what God wants, we crash. We loose control and become consumed in the darkness that has taken a hold of us. And we lose sight of the light that was once in our life. Christ. That's the problems with most teens. They've lost sight of Christ, our light. The world has become so darkened and full of sin, that the light of Christ that once use to consume our world has now been replaced by sin. And the sad thing about is, we as a people don't care. We would rather live in our way of sin and death, than life in Christ. And whats worse is that the upcoming generation isn't going to know who Christ is or what He did, or even the way of life over death. We need to talk about Christ more! We don't have to preach or get in peoples faces. Just get Christ's name out there! Just saying his name or talking about him a couple of times in a conversation can and will make a difference! People are so desperate for a change and for something more, so lets give it to them! Lets give them something that will cause the biggest change in their life they have ever had! All people want is someone to love them, someone to love, and to feel loved. Lets give them Jesus!

My Testimony I want to share with the world.

Camp this year was sooo different. It wasnt the same. Thats a good thing though:) The services we're so amazing and the activities we super fun! I hada blast! I also really really enjoyed spending the WHOLE WEEK with Tyler!:) It went by waaay to fast though and I wish we didnt have to leave:(

For the past couple of years I have been going through the toughest trial I have ever been through in my whole life. I was literally fighting to stay alive. Physicaly and Spiritualy. the flame that God had set in my heart years ago had slowly started to die and fade and I no longer felt like he loved me. I felt abandoned and alone. I didnt understand why God would let these kinds of things happen to his children and why he would let them hurt so bad. I felt like giving up and really didnt care if I lived or not. I was going to kill myself at the beggining of the year and not even tell anyone cause, well, I really just didnt care. But then I thought about the friends and family I would leave behind. And I did fear going to hell so I decided not to do it. After that I still hurt inside and then decided to start cutting. I would hide in my room and find the sharpest knife I could because I thought the sharper it was the worse the pain and the less I would hurt on the inside. So I would cut two or three times a day, maybe more just so I would keep myself from crying because I use to think that crying would show your weak and the last thing I wanted to show the world was that I was weak. I then went into a great depression and started not to eat because I thought I was fat and I didnt look like the other skinny girls. I couldnt pray, I couldnt sing, I couldnt even play my guitar or write any songs. My passion for God was gone. My passion for anything I loved was gone. I didnt even think I could ever love anyone again. I didnt even love myself. And sad to say I made some really bad choices and did somethings Im not proud of that had some bad results. And this week at camp I still struggled with everything. i would stand in worship and just cry because I couldnt feel God and all I wanted was just to know he loved me. Just to feel his love. I started to talk to my big brother Andrew(not my blood brother.) about some things I was going through and I started to talk to Tyler about them. Adn on thursday night they both prayed with me and I finally gave in. I couldnt take the pain anymore. I gave myself to God. And Friday night during worship I heard him say so clearly "I love you. I always have and I always will" I finally heard my father in heavens voice. After all these years without feeling him or knowing he still loved me no matter what choices I made I had finally heard my Daddy say "I love you" And it was like a warm blanket had been put around my shoulders and then tears started to run down my face. I still felt liek there was something inside of my that wasnt right so I decided to talk to my spiritual parents, Scott and Brenda Gillum. They helped me realize that its not all about feelings. Christianity comes from the heart, not the mind. Dont think and try to figure it out because all you will do is confuse yourself liek I did. So I just let go and let God take control and started to worship God for forgiving my stupidity. So I gave my heart back to God and started a new chapter of my life. One that has no wrong doings and no pain. Yes I do have scars that remind me of my past but scars are a memory of what God has brought me through. And I have a new song I wrote called "My everything" and it tells my lifes testamony and I pray that this song will help the poeple who have or are going through the things I have been through and let them know that they are not alone. I have been where they are and it is much easier to go through it with someone by yourside. So If there is anyone that has read this that needs someone to talk to or just be there for them, I will be more than happy to listen. I will give you my number so we can stay in touch. And I pray that God would give me the right words that woudl encourage you to stay close to him and that he WILL love you no matter what!

CAMP TIME!! :D

Yep, its that time of year again. Time to feel the soft green grass between my toes, smell the pine from the trees, and feel the wind blow through my hair. Yes my friends, its camp time! The one time a year everyone gathers together not only to have a wonderful time, but to experience God as they have never before. To recieve something wonderful. I leave in the morning at an early 9:00am. Okay, thats not that early but it is to me. ha! :D

Anywho, Im looking forward to this year because I have a feeling something wonderful is going to happen! Im going to open up myself to God like I never have before and let him take control. Its time I gave up and stopped doing things my way anwyay. Oh, AND I get to see my wonderful boyfriend, Tyler Barnes!! :D

So, Im going to be gone till saturday and I will miss all of you wonderful people! I pray all of you have a safe week! Love you guys! :D

IM BACK! :D

Hey my wonderful people of the world! I just now found my blog! How you can loose a blog your own blog I have no idea. So...dont..dont...ask.....yeeeeaaa.





Anywho. My life has been kinda boring the last, lets see, most of this year. I no longer work at McDonalds. Instead, I help my neighbore with things she cant do by herself and I have to say its the best job I have had yet. Well, really, I dont even consider it a job because I enjoy it so much. She is a real blessing to me. I am currently dating Tyler Aaron Barnes and life couldnt seem sweeter! :)


So, Im thinking about finally finishing my book "Where Darkness cannot hide" Alot of it is real life experience and some of it is fiction but, Im hoping it will turn out good! :)

Well I have to go I just wanted to post this so those of you ""tyler'' who dont know what a blog is can see what it is ;) Tootles!! :)

McDonalds

I start a new course in life this week. No longer will I be just a teenager, but I will be a working all the time none stop teenager. I do have to say I am VERY thankfull for this job.

I am going to be working at McDonalds in Scotsville Ky. There I will be learning the ways of the ninja. Cause everyone knows you have to be super fast and skilled to do that many things at once. Which I am none of those thing at all! Working there will teach me how to work with people, listen to those over you, skills, respect, and a bunch of other stuff I dont feel like typing.

I have been thinking a lot about life. Probably more than I should. I have been thinking about all the things I have been praying for and how I am being blessed with them. Like this job for example. I have been looking and praying for a job and I was blessed with one. I have also been blessed with friends who love me for who I am and not what I am. I have family that would give there life for me and love me more than I could even imagine.

Though life for me the past couple of years has been really hard, God, my family and my friends have been there right by my side throught the whole thing. I am truely blessed to have people like them. I dont know what I would do if I didnt have them. Even though the water rises my God will reach his arm out and pull me up.

It seems like everything is happening so fast. I get a chance to record a demo, I get a job, and I get a boyfriend. Its all nice but sometimes I wish life would slow down a little. But I have a feeling its only gonna get faster. I think it would be awesome if I could like slow down time for a couple of second and take a breather. But, I dont think thats possible. I guess I'll just learn how to manage my time. I have to have time for God, my family and my friends. HAVE TOO!

Life: Part 3

There are some things in life you just cant control. And there are some things that you can. Like the color of the sky or the song of a bird. Gods plan,Thats one thing we will never be able to control. I do have to say I am very thankfull that I dont control it because if that were the case I would have messed my life up soo many times. I guess thats why He is in control intead of us. Cause He knows what he's doing and we dont most of the time.

Even though we dont like the outcome of His will sometimes it is for the best. I can honestly say that I have been down that road. You pray and pray and pray for a sertain thing to happen or not happen and yet it seems like your pray hasn't been answered. But did we ever stop and think " Maybe God not answering is an answer." The reason being that there might be sometihng he wants us to learn or see during the time we are going through.

Being a teenager, I do have to say, is a time in your life when you learn to get closer to God. There are so many things in this world that tempt us and try to get us to fall away from the one who really matters. God. Its in these times we learn his will and plan for our lifes and to keep going even when things seems ruff or unfair. Yes there will be times when we dont think we will ever get our turn for anything but our turn will come soon enough. Times of feeling lonely do come. Trust me. I also have been down that road. Probably more than I should. But we have to realize that the person we have been waiting to find or wanting to find has been here the whole entire time. God loves you more than anything or anyone in the whole entire world. He will always be there for you. He wont hurt you or leave you feeling disapointed.

I have realized that life will through some banana peels at you so you'll slip and fall. And yes it will promise you one thing and give you another. But hold on to God. When He makes a promise he never breaks it. Trust him and when those banana peels do come at you he will be there to keep you from falling.

Where Darkness Cannot Hide~ Hidden Secrets

I decided to put a paragraph from the book Im writting on here and see if you guys like it. I would love your opinion that way if it needs some more work I know it.



It was suer time and Keira had noticed the house had seemed a little weirder than usual. " Hmm, sure seems quiet tonight." She thought to herself as she put soap in her hands and started to rub it between her fingers. She looked in the mirror and thought she saw her moms shadow. " Hey mom, whats for super?" She said in a jokingly voice. The shadow stood there and said nothing. " Mom are you ok?" Still standing there the shadow turned to the side to where you could just barely see the face. It was tall and had a black hood like thing on. Keira then realized the shadow she was seeing was not her mother's. Scared out of her mind she ran to her room and dialed 911. " Come on! COme on! Pick up! Hello? Is anyone there? There is a man in my house! I have no idea who he is and, I think he broke in or something! Hello?!"


Just let me know what you think. I would love you opinion! :)